Mistakes Grooms make that can Ruin a Bride’s Big Day, and How to Avoid Them!
- Forgetting a breath mint right before you first kiss as husband and wife! Your sense of smell is the only sense hardwired directly to the part of your brain that stores memories. Don’t let the onions on the Whopper you choked down 30 minutes before the ceremony be how she remembers the most important kiss of your lives! And pick a flavor she likes! Have the best man slip you a mint 5 minutes before the kiss! And beware of Tic Tacs! Great product but they make a lot of noise when you have a box of them in your pants pocket while you walk! You don?t want that showing up on your wedding video!
- Overdoing the Bachelor Party thing. She’s got enough to worry about without your wild friend Dave taking you for one last 90 mph blast through the apartment complex on the back of his motorcycle.
- Getting TOO drunk at the reception. This is a once in a lifetime day. Be there to enjoy it 100%, in body, mind and spirit. Yes, all your old college buddies will there with you, but Priority Number One will be that new bride standing right next to you!
- Forgetting the rings! Check, double check and triple check that you HAVE the rings! Most common mistake: remembering to bring them, but leaving them in the car!
- Saying “Whatever you want honey!” She wants you to be agreeable, but she also wants you to LISTEN and AFFIRM her choices, especially about the details, not to act like you don’t care one way or another!
- Underestimating the stress of the day on both of you. Get a good night’s sleep, eat right, and drink plenty of water. Be at your best, and you won’t be stressed. As they say.
- Letting her handle everything. Maybe she would like you to volunteer to handle some of the vendors, like the limo company, since most men like cars. Ask her, then LISTEN!
- Leaving your mother in law out of the plans. For many women the only thing more exciting than planning their own wedding, is helping their, little girl, plan theirs! Respect this! Chock it up to being ,a girl thing, but let them have their fun!
Last Minute Crisis: Disasters that occur the Week of the Wedding, and How to Avoid Them?
- A member of the bridal party is called out of town for his or her job or is in an accident, or too sick to be in the wedding. Plan for this! When you make up your list of bridesmaids and groomsmen, list a couple of alternates just in case!
- Sitting with your back to the driver in the limo. With all the excitement, you may be overly warm, you start feeling queasy and get sick! Some people can get motion sickness sitting in a car in a way that their body is not accustomed to. Limo drivers are the best! And good at being smooth drivers, but sit facing the driver!
- Your uncle’s old Ford broke down. You want to save some money on a limo and your uncle has an old classic car he volunteers to drive you in, but it breaks down. The car isn’t a bad idea, the solution is to have a friend drive behind you just in case that old classic dies!
- You are having the pictures taken before the ceremony and someone is late! This can ruin the whole schedule very quickly! Taking pictures before your ceremony is a great idea but only if you insist that everyone be very early. What does early mean? Here’s a good standard: If they had a flat tire, they could get it fixed and still be on time!
- A headache or upset stomach because you drank champagne on an empty stomach. Most of us here in the real world rarely drink it so we aren’t prepared for what it can do to us. Eat a little something before downing the bubbly! It may save your night!
- Forgetting to budget for gratuities. Tips for the servers, the priest or minister, limo driver, DJ, videographer, bartenders, etc can easily add up to hundreds of dollars!
- Not breaking in your shoes! And this goes for the whole bridal party! Not being able to dance at your own wedding without a lot of pain (or your maid of honor can’t dance with you to all your favorite songs from the college days) is a real disappointment. Plan ahead! Even bring a second pair of shoes for dancing! Remember, you will set the tone for the reception. And if the guests don’t see you dancing, they will be less inclined to dance as well!
- Not packing a Wedding Emergency Kit. Put a little bag together containing the following: A needle and thread, An extra pair of contacts, Asprin or Tylenol, Tums, Breath Mints, Make up. An extra pair of Panty Hose, Shoe polish for touch ups, Band-Aids, Tissues, Safety pins, AND, Whatever else you can think of!
Unique Reception Ideas
- As a gag, the groom pulls something other than the garter out from underneath the bride’s dress! It can be a really funny moment because everyone is so expecting the garter! A rubber chicken, a book, a pair of boxer shorts, whatever. Use you imagination!
- Family Trivia: You give the DJ a list of questions to ask the family in a “Family Feud” type set up and see who knows the most about family history, bride and groom trivia and other fun things you’d like to share with your guests.
- A friend or relative (with talent) singing a song to the two of you at the reception. This is always a high light.
- Funny Intro Songs: Instead of entering the banquet hall to nothing but applause, why not enter to a “theme song”. We’ve seen it all. The theme to “2001, A Space Odyssey”, The Rocky Theme, Another One Bites the Dust, The Adams Family etc. Just something fun, it’s up to you.
- Karaoke: We offer this as an option and it can add a lot to the event. Many people think it’s more for parties than for weddings but it’s up to you!
- The Anniversary Dance: The DJ invites all the married couples up onto the dance floor for the Anniversary Dance. After a minute he asks that Only those married more than 5 years stay up on the dance floor, then a minute later, 10 years, 20 and so on until only one (older) couple remains. The DJ then asks that couple to come up and offer the bride and groom some advice on how to stay happily married for so many years. It can be a nice touch, and often very funny, especially if the older couple has time to prepare something.
The 7 Keys to a Perfect Ceremony
- STOP, JUST STOP and sit down for 5 minutes, just 5 minutes to take it all in! As you get ready to leave your house, as you get dressed, as you prepare, each step in the process, JUST STOP and take it all in! The biggest complaint we hear is that “It all went so fast!”, “I didn’t even have time to really enjoy it”. Don’t let this happen to you. Take the extra few minutes at each step along the way to really savor these moments! This is the best advice we can offer you for any aspect of your wedding. STOP!
- Don’t duck when they throw the rice! It will make it impossible for the Photographer to get good pictures! Grin and bear it! A little “pelting” never hurt anyone!
- Speak up during your vows! It’s why everyone came! To hear the two of you proclaim your love for one another! All too often, the bride or groom speaks so softly, no one (including the video camera) can hear them! Remember, you are there to proclaim your love not whisper sweet nothings, that comes later!
- Get the Grandparents there early! We have seen way way too many wedding day schedules ruined because, Grandma, isn’t here yet?! And let’s face it. You can’t start without her!
- Don’t forget anything! Here are the items most often forgotten that can ruin a wedding day schedule: The rings! (Really!), Ties, Cumberbuns, the ring pillow, guest books and pens, the garter and the bridesmaids’ shoes. Put everyone on notice to avoid these common mistakes!
- Your ATTITUDE is Everything! Remember, if something goes wrong, it will make the telling of the tale all the sweeter later in your life! So RELAX! With thousands of details, some little glitches are bound to occur! It’s all in how you handle it! Don’t lose sight of what’s happening here and what’s most important! The two of you! And the rest of your lives together! ENJOY!
How to Plan the Perfect Reception
Here it is: lots of tips shared with us by past brides whose events went really really well. We hope you can benefit from some of their ideas! Here goes:
- Spend time together at the reception! We hear this a lot: “Yes the reception went great but we never saw each other. We were so busy making sure to visit with everyone, we didn’t get to spend much time together.” Don’t let that happen! Your friends will understand when they see you with each other instead of with them. Spend enough time together to soak it all in as a shared experience as it is meant to be!
- Drink enough water! Assign someone to carry a few bottled waters that you can grab throughout the night! We often hear how exhausted brides and grooms are. It is almost always caused by lack of fluids! Drink Up! (water, that is) and stay hydrated and you’ll stay fresh!
- Book an extra hour of music! 4 hours is not enough to have a cocktail hour, dinner, formalities and lots of time left for dancing! 5 and 6 hour receptions go best!
- Make SURE that dinner is served on time! Make it very clear to your caterer that this is really important to you. Professional caterers will be very good with this but if you are having a friend or relative do the food, this is a big potential problem. Make your wishes known well in advance by discussing it and allowing extra set up time!
- Designate a “Party Starter”. If you have a best man or maid of honor or anyone who is well known in the group and pretty wild, ask them to help get the crowd up and going throughout the night! Sometimes even the best DJ in the world appreciates a little help from someone like this who knows many of the guests and knows how to get em going (especially the shy ones)! This is a very good idea that always helps make for a better “party”.
- Have a good time yourselves! Your guests look to you to set the tone and if you are having fun dancing, they will too! If you don’t they may think this is a more formal affair and stay in their seats!
- The most common mistake, Brides who spend $2000 dollars on their photographer and let a friend videotape the event! And think about it, 10 years from now, what are your kids going to want to see? “Hey mom, why don’t these pictures move?” If you haven’t booked a videotaping service, please think about it.
Trade Secrets from Wedding Insiders
- Want to know the fastest and easiest way to save big money on your wedding? Reduce the number of guests you invite! At an average cost of $50-$100 per guest (for food, drinks, tips, taxes, etc.) you can save a lot of money really fast! Here’s a fact: Most brides and grooms invite TOO MANY people to their wedding! After the wedding, over 90% feel that they could have saved money by not inviting some of the people they felt obligated to invite! If you are thinking of 250 people and you trim it to 225, you save anywhere from $1250 to $2500 dollars!! This alone pays for your DJ, a professional videographer, and a limo! Trim it to 200 and you have paid for your honeymoon! Never forget: 90% of brides and grooms come away from their wedding realizing that they wasted a lot of money inviting people that they really didn’t have to! Trim that guest list! In fact, you are sure to be one of the 90% if you do not review and trim the list at least 5 times!!!! Trim that guest list! Look at all the money you will save!
- Have the ceremony and reception at the same place! We are seeing this more and more because you save time and a lot of money! You can save between $1000 and $2000 doing this! And we can play your ceremony music for you! Again, this is becoming more and more common!
- Keep all of your planning materials until AFTER the wedding! If a vendor agreement falls through or there is a dispute, you may need to go with your second choice really fast! Be ready!
- Make sure all members of the bridal party try on their dresses, tuxes and shoes as far in advance as possible. Last minute changes and alterations are always more expensive!
- If you find a gown at your local bridal shop, then buy it online and then take it to the shop for alterations, expect to pay A LOT for those alterations. Yes, they will do inexpensive alterations as part of your buying the dress there but that’s because they make their profit on the dress. If you buy online there is no such benefit for the shop owner! Bridal shop owners do need to make a profit to stay in business! That’s why you will often see the tags removed from dresses! The shop owner has been burned one too many times!
- Ask if “Prices are subject to change”. If yes, insist that that clause be removed form the contract! By the way, they don’t have to retype a whole new contract. Just draw a line through that part and both you and the vendor initial and date it near that line on the contract!
- Ask if there are any “extra charges” for anything. If so that’s OK as long as they are clearly explained and shown right on the contract! Options are good! Can you imagine shopping for a car at a dealership where every car has exactly the same equipment? The customer demands choices, and options give them choices as long as they are clearly listed on the contract!
- The only exceptions to the above rule are travel charges. It’s the consumer’s responsibility to warn the vendor ahead of time that the event will require them to travel beyond a reasonable distance! What’s a reasonable distance? Approximately 30 miles any direction outside the center of the city! Beyond that, the consumer needs to ask the vendor if they travel to that area “which is approximately x number of miles away” before the vendor agrees to perform the service. Otherwise, the consumer should expect the vendor to charge at least a small amount for travel even after signing a contract! Again, this is because it is reasonable to assume that the vendor has been told in advance of signing a contract that the event is not in his normal service area.
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